i posted a selfie last weekend in the full length mirror in my half bathroom. i wore a boxy black crop top i depop’d from a teen and some cropped levi’s with crew socks and vans. my stomach showed, just a sliver, and a laundry basket and toilet were in my shot. i met up with my partner at a nearby bar. i showed him the selfie and asked if i looked hot.
peter said, “yes. for sure!! but maybe more…cool.” i was like huh?? he told me that when i take pictures of myself, i tend to look like i’m going for ‘cool’ more than ‘hot.’ we examined the photo. he said, “you know, like you can see your torso but the shirt’s neckline is high, and you’re leaning against the wall like, in a cool way. plus your socks.”
i saw the picture with different eyes. i still liked it, and peter liked it too, i just realized now what i was doing. he was right — i was trying to look cool. we identified this as appealing to the female gaze. (the amount of likes i got on this photo suggest that this particular “look” ap…