Oh this is so good! It made me cry too. As a fellow diary keeper from the day I learned how to hold a pen, I appreciate how you’ve opened up this window into your world as a hs kid. I grew up dealing with alcohol too (I’ve been sober a few years now) and every word you wrote about your relationship to alcohol felt like a salve on my heart, bc there’s a lot of truth and honesty in your writing. Your line: “but idk I do such a great job unconvincing myself of all good things” yes! My inner self critic can be harsh to this day. I agree that this kid in the journal is pretty much tough as nails, and her resilience is her super strength. Funny that as I was reading your hs story, I thought to myself: oh I wish I could tell this young girl that life will be okay? I love your last line: “I wish I could go back in time and tell her.” It’s so important to have kindness and compassion for our pasts. Your footnotes a ton of heart and love for your childhood self. Past is never the past as they say; as hs kid your gift for writing shines like a light in the dark.
Oh this is so good! It made me cry too. As a fellow diary keeper from the day I learned how to hold a pen, I appreciate how you’ve opened up this window into your world as a hs kid. I grew up dealing with alcohol too (I’ve been sober a few years now) and every word you wrote about your relationship to alcohol felt like a salve on my heart, bc there’s a lot of truth and honesty in your writing. Your line: “but idk I do such a great job unconvincing myself of all good things” yes! My inner self critic can be harsh to this day. I agree that this kid in the journal is pretty much tough as nails, and her resilience is her super strength. Funny that as I was reading your hs story, I thought to myself: oh I wish I could tell this young girl that life will be okay? I love your last line: “I wish I could go back in time and tell her.” It’s so important to have kindness and compassion for our pasts. Your footnotes a ton of heart and love for your childhood self. Past is never the past as they say; as hs kid your gift for writing shines like a light in the dark.