This essay just gave me goosebumps. Such beautiful writing and what a lovely reflection on the things writing can give us beyond publishing and books and accolades (though those are nice too!). I'm so glad you shared this, Lindsey! (And will be clearing my throat chakra before writing now too.)
Thank you so so much!! When I let go of my ego and allllll the dreams and need for external validation and whatever else, I can see that writing in itself is truly such a gift <3 thank you for your thoughts!! Clear that throat chakra!!
Deeply relatable on many levels. I think this is such a testament to the value of writing fiction, beyond it's quote-unquote market value (?!)—learning to live life through having written about what we lived, slanted. I also felt this:
"What it felt like to go back to school the next day and pretend like nothing happened the night before—pretend I didn’t struggle to study for my test because I was in the laundry room looking for empty bottles, trying to prove that my mom actually was drunk even though she slurred that she wasn’t"
The constant hunt </3 There's a weird feeling to writing something like this and hearing that it's relatable...I feel sad that you went through it too but also grateful to not be alone. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, Andrew. And yes, totally re: fiction writing. I can get caught up in the prospects of publishing and being "recognized" in some way for my writing, but I imagine that could not possibly be as deeply gratifying as actually changing my brain and my understanding of life as a result of the work. Hard to let go of my ego for long enough to really take that in, lol, but I'm enjoying the journey!!
This hit me right where it hurts, at the intersection of so many of my current obsessions: the experience of coming of age in the early aughts, the mother wound, and recovering from alcoholism. I also recently shelved my pandemic novel as I realized it wasn’t ready for the world—not just yet—but has sufficiently healed me enough to lay it to rest for now.
Thank God for your vulnerability in sharing this. We are kindred spirits.
oh my gosh i love that Carly, thank you!! I love your "not just yet" comment bc I do believe that sometimes the world isn't ready for certain novels but maybe, with time, it will be <3 Or honestly sometimes WE need to live a little more life to be able to revise it into its final form. Either way, the drafting itself can be so healing, as you know too. I'm glad you're leaning into writing as expression. Truly so healing. Thank you for reading!! <3
I'm going to pass on something a friend of mine gave me, a link to an incredible presentation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=aOSD9rTVuWc I hope you'll get a chance to see it and find as much in it as I did. It is not about healing or self-help or anything like that.
This essay just gave me goosebumps. Such beautiful writing and what a lovely reflection on the things writing can give us beyond publishing and books and accolades (though those are nice too!). I'm so glad you shared this, Lindsey! (And will be clearing my throat chakra before writing now too.)
Thank you so so much!! When I let go of my ego and allllll the dreams and need for external validation and whatever else, I can see that writing in itself is truly such a gift <3 thank you for your thoughts!! Clear that throat chakra!!
thank you Lindsey for proving to me that God (Love) is real
I love you!!! <33 It's allllllllll go(o)d <3
Deeply relatable on many levels. I think this is such a testament to the value of writing fiction, beyond it's quote-unquote market value (?!)—learning to live life through having written about what we lived, slanted. I also felt this:
"What it felt like to go back to school the next day and pretend like nothing happened the night before—pretend I didn’t struggle to study for my test because I was in the laundry room looking for empty bottles, trying to prove that my mom actually was drunk even though she slurred that she wasn’t"
The constant hunt. So sneaky.
The constant hunt </3 There's a weird feeling to writing something like this and hearing that it's relatable...I feel sad that you went through it too but also grateful to not be alone. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts, Andrew. And yes, totally re: fiction writing. I can get caught up in the prospects of publishing and being "recognized" in some way for my writing, but I imagine that could not possibly be as deeply gratifying as actually changing my brain and my understanding of life as a result of the work. Hard to let go of my ego for long enough to really take that in, lol, but I'm enjoying the journey!!
this is one of the best essays i’ve read in a while. it’s so searingly beautiful. love your work and I’m glad your mum is doing okay!❤️
oh my gosh <333 thank you so much. I really appreciate this. and thank you for saying that about my mom--she *is* doing okay :')
This hit me right where it hurts, at the intersection of so many of my current obsessions: the experience of coming of age in the early aughts, the mother wound, and recovering from alcoholism. I also recently shelved my pandemic novel as I realized it wasn’t ready for the world—not just yet—but has sufficiently healed me enough to lay it to rest for now.
Thank God for your vulnerability in sharing this. We are kindred spirits.
oh my gosh i love that Carly, thank you!! I love your "not just yet" comment bc I do believe that sometimes the world isn't ready for certain novels but maybe, with time, it will be <3 Or honestly sometimes WE need to live a little more life to be able to revise it into its final form. Either way, the drafting itself can be so healing, as you know too. I'm glad you're leaning into writing as expression. Truly so healing. Thank you for reading!! <3
This was so powerful, Lindsey ❤️
thanks so so much for reading, Liv!! Hope you've been doing well <3
So so beautiful ❤️
thank you natasha <33 i appreciate you!!!
💕 I would buy a hard copy of this novel
this makes me so happy...I think/hope you would like the new one I'm working on even more <3
Based on your substack I absolutely would
I'm going to pass on something a friend of mine gave me, a link to an incredible presentation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=aOSD9rTVuWc I hope you'll get a chance to see it and find as much in it as I did. It is not about healing or self-help or anything like that.
thank you for this! addiction is a complex thing, that's for sure.
I'm a fan was so unhinged I loved it
yes! like the most emotionally dysregulated character i've ever had the pleasure of meeting lol
"How courageous. To mess up so often and to not give up. To always try to be better, even while feeling bone-deep shame." ❤️
<33
this is so beautiful and well written.. made me tear up
def cried while writing it lol. thanks so much, cassandra <3
this is profound. it grabbed me by the throat in the best of ways and reminded me of the power of writing. beautiful work.
I appreciate this so much, Will. writing is such a beautiful processing tool--I forget that until it reminds me <3
It has a funny way of reminding us; I’m thankful it does.
The throat chakra balancing worked lol. So beautiful how writing can help us process in ways we don’t always predict. Great piece!
lolll $50 well spent!! Thank you so much, Katie, I really appreciate this <3
I already texted you how much I love this but hopping in to say BEAUTIFUL!!
Also is destabilized a new buzz word…? I think so!! 😘
LOL demure, mindful, and destabilized <3 thank you Brittany!!
soo lovely. like, yes, “understand*** your darlings.” ya know? moms are so many things. and still my heart breaks for us daughters.
UNDERSTAND your darlings!! that is so good. i feel your compassion. thank you for this, Meg <33