This one hurt because… same. But now I’m stuck wondering if I actually ever wanted to be a novelist or if it was the only thing I figured I could do because I don’t feel good at anything else. Boop. Anyway, congrats to you for finding what works and being honest about what doesn’t and congrats to Peter!
Thanks for much for this, Heather, and yeppp, these are the tough questions we have to ask ourselves!! Something I didn't mention in my post: my partner has a screenwriting degree and wanted to be a screenwriter for like, over a decade before shifting gears toward prose. I think it's a great example of how sometimes we know we want to write but we think we want to write one particular thing or one particular way...only to later discover this other kind of writing has been waiting for us all along.
All that to say, it's also possible that writing IS your thing, but in a form you hadn't expected. idk! excited to hear what you discover <3 thank you for reading!!
I love this! It's so true. I'm also about to finish a manuscript (likely in the next few days) and just show up for easy goals. I have to say, all the short story writing you did was great practice! It might not be "the thing" you want to do, but it's helped you become a better writer, will will serve you sooo well in your novels!
omggg CONGRATULATIONS! Right in time for the new year!! And yes, totally agree. The short story form helped me zoom out and see structure in a way that really helped my novel writing. I had fun! It's all part of the writing journey :) thank you for reading!!
This is the part I was going to say something about. Don’t “feh” the short stories—something made you want to write them. And if that something was validation—well, validation is important. It’s only when we twist ourselves into something we don’t want to be, in order to get something that looks like validation but really isn’t, that it becomes a problem.
TLDR—whatever gets words on the page is good one way or another. Wishing you both the best.
Major congratulations to your partner! I really needed and appreciate this post because there is something to be said about the necessity of adding structure and disciple to one’s creativity in order to see tangible results. Matter of fact, let me open up my work in progress lmaooo x
omg this warmed my heart!! OPEN UP THAT WORK IN PROGRESS!! but ikr, it's taken me a long time (i've improved, but still working on it) to really realize the structure/discipline is necessary to bring it all together. We can have loads of inspiration and great ideas, but if we're not sitting down to do the work then it doesn't matter! Rooting for you as you complete your WIP <3
I am currently off social media and with no phone notification, no plans to practice solitude and learn to ENJOY the process again! So important to enjoy doing the actual thing.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in marketing yourself as what you are instead of living what you are...#socialmedia
dang see i can't quit social media yet, haha!! i'm inspired by those that can. but I one thousand percent agree--whether using social media in moderation or totally abstaining, the priority needs to be actually LIVING life for ourselves, not for the projection of self. thank you for reading <3
Wow. This felt like a kick in the pants as I was literally scrolling here instead of writing (hehe). I also tend to focus on short stories (mostly for the little dopamine rush of finishing them, although I do genuinely love short fiction) and have been letting my novel idea(s) sit on the backburner for years. Huge congratulations to your partner! They're totally teaching us the things we should've already known. Lol.
haha right?? like sometimes you just need to see it happen to someone else to be like...oh yeah, that makes total sense, hahah. i love that you focus on short stories if you genuinely love them! though yes, I would def be curious to hear how it feels to dive into that novel that's been waiting for you :) could be interestingggg!
this one spoke to me. I am currently in the fight of my life trying to get away from the part of me who wants the results but isn't doing the work. I am fighting to become the person who sets the goal and does the work to accomplish it! whew. what a tough realization but so so necessary. thank you for sharing this part of you!
right?? it's HARD! I really am trying to change the narrative that "I'm someone who ____" (doesn't like to work, isn't disciplined, etc etc). It really is just one part of us that is resisting for some reason or another (probably trying to protect us from, oh idk, rejection, failure, humiliation, disappointment, or 10,000 other things?? lol). Thanks for reading and I really hope you keep fighting to do the work. I think it's really cool that you're showing up. It honestly does get easier <3
if I can change, you can too!! (tbh I still have my ups and downs, but now I trust that I will always return to the writing, even when I think for sure it's finally done with me, lol). you've got this. thanks so much <33
I've been told that before, that I liked the idea of being a writer more than the idea of writing and it used to make me angry back then, but it was true. Now I read and write regularly , but every now again, stop to make sure that it isn't still true. I am a writer because I write. Congratulations to your partner, his works are wonderful.
oof that's tough, honest feedback tbh but I think it's so cool that you took it in and honestly evaluated it, then made a change. Love that kind of awareness--it's really a kindness to yourself, at the end of the day <3 thank you so so much for reading!
This post found me at exactly the right time! I’m currently in undergrad for creative writing and have been struggling to find a consistent writing routine. I too fall into the trap of wanting to “appear” to be a writer. Getting caught up in that aesthetic and what others think of you — especially with so many doubters; “you want to be a WRITER? Okay, but what’s your backup plan?” — is such a valid and real thing. Thank you for sharing this <3 and huge congratulations to your partner, that’s so exciting for them!!
Hi Heidi!! the "what's your back up plan" is so real -- and it's sad! I'm nearing my mid-30s and have seen a lot of creative people follow their backup plan and deprioritize their creative pursuits. Sometimes that's necessary, which I understand. But I think those of us with this drive to write have to at least try to make time for it. We owe it to ourselves! thank you for your comment & support <33
Great article! I want to develop a writing practice but it’s so easy to get caught up in trying to “boost engagement”. There’s always that fear of not being good thrown in there too. I need to keep reminding myself that writers edit and write many drafts before publishing.
oh totally!! I'm with you. Writers edit many of their own drafts, then their agent looks at it, then their editor/publisher looks at it...and there are probably a few beta readers and workshops and craft intensives thrown in there too. It's so helpful to remember that when we compare our first draft to someone else's final project. and yes totally agree about the engagement boosting thing...though I guess it's like, if we aren't careful, we could be amazing at boosting engagement and building a platform for the novel we haven't finished yet, lol. the whole thing could get totally convoluted!
This one hurt because… same. But now I’m stuck wondering if I actually ever wanted to be a novelist or if it was the only thing I figured I could do because I don’t feel good at anything else. Boop. Anyway, congrats to you for finding what works and being honest about what doesn’t and congrats to Peter!
Thanks for much for this, Heather, and yeppp, these are the tough questions we have to ask ourselves!! Something I didn't mention in my post: my partner has a screenwriting degree and wanted to be a screenwriter for like, over a decade before shifting gears toward prose. I think it's a great example of how sometimes we know we want to write but we think we want to write one particular thing or one particular way...only to later discover this other kind of writing has been waiting for us all along.
All that to say, it's also possible that writing IS your thing, but in a form you hadn't expected. idk! excited to hear what you discover <3 thank you for reading!!
Thank you!! This is a vvv helpful and timely reply! <3
I love this! It's so true. I'm also about to finish a manuscript (likely in the next few days) and just show up for easy goals. I have to say, all the short story writing you did was great practice! It might not be "the thing" you want to do, but it's helped you become a better writer, will will serve you sooo well in your novels!
omggg CONGRATULATIONS! Right in time for the new year!! And yes, totally agree. The short story form helped me zoom out and see structure in a way that really helped my novel writing. I had fun! It's all part of the writing journey :) thank you for reading!!
This is the part I was going to say something about. Don’t “feh” the short stories—something made you want to write them. And if that something was validation—well, validation is important. It’s only when we twist ourselves into something we don’t want to be, in order to get something that looks like validation but really isn’t, that it becomes a problem.
TLDR—whatever gets words on the page is good one way or another. Wishing you both the best.
Major congratulations to your partner! I really needed and appreciate this post because there is something to be said about the necessity of adding structure and disciple to one’s creativity in order to see tangible results. Matter of fact, let me open up my work in progress lmaooo x
omg this warmed my heart!! OPEN UP THAT WORK IN PROGRESS!! but ikr, it's taken me a long time (i've improved, but still working on it) to really realize the structure/discipline is necessary to bring it all together. We can have loads of inspiration and great ideas, but if we're not sitting down to do the work then it doesn't matter! Rooting for you as you complete your WIP <3
lol that last part is so real; I feel motivated to actually write now, but more importantly, sustain that writing
I loved reading this <3
I am currently off social media and with no phone notification, no plans to practice solitude and learn to ENJOY the process again! So important to enjoy doing the actual thing.
It's so easy to get wrapped up in marketing yourself as what you are instead of living what you are...#socialmedia
dang see i can't quit social media yet, haha!! i'm inspired by those that can. but I one thousand percent agree--whether using social media in moderation or totally abstaining, the priority needs to be actually LIVING life for ourselves, not for the projection of self. thank you for reading <3
Women also have to have so many prerequisites before being taken seriously it’s normal to feel that way you had to perform in order to do it.
wow yes, love this perspective--you're so right!! thank you for this <3
Wow. This felt like a kick in the pants as I was literally scrolling here instead of writing (hehe). I also tend to focus on short stories (mostly for the little dopamine rush of finishing them, although I do genuinely love short fiction) and have been letting my novel idea(s) sit on the backburner for years. Huge congratulations to your partner! They're totally teaching us the things we should've already known. Lol.
haha right?? like sometimes you just need to see it happen to someone else to be like...oh yeah, that makes total sense, hahah. i love that you focus on short stories if you genuinely love them! though yes, I would def be curious to hear how it feels to dive into that novel that's been waiting for you :) could be interestingggg!
if you ever want a beta reader … i’m so there
this is so so nice lol thank you <3
Same.
thank you Julie!! [insert crying emoji] i so appreciate you!
Really awesome piece
yay thank you Meghan!
this one spoke to me. I am currently in the fight of my life trying to get away from the part of me who wants the results but isn't doing the work. I am fighting to become the person who sets the goal and does the work to accomplish it! whew. what a tough realization but so so necessary. thank you for sharing this part of you!
right?? it's HARD! I really am trying to change the narrative that "I'm someone who ____" (doesn't like to work, isn't disciplined, etc etc). It really is just one part of us that is resisting for some reason or another (probably trying to protect us from, oh idk, rejection, failure, humiliation, disappointment, or 10,000 other things?? lol). Thanks for reading and I really hope you keep fighting to do the work. I think it's really cool that you're showing up. It honestly does get easier <3
love that! changing the way we speak to ourselves is an essential part of the process of change. <3
This is wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
I'm so glad it resonated -- thank you Lana!! <3
always wanting & never doing – for years now… hope your writing/revising process goes well :)
if I can change, you can too!! (tbh I still have my ups and downs, but now I trust that I will always return to the writing, even when I think for sure it's finally done with me, lol). you've got this. thanks so much <33
I've been told that before, that I liked the idea of being a writer more than the idea of writing and it used to make me angry back then, but it was true. Now I read and write regularly , but every now again, stop to make sure that it isn't still true. I am a writer because I write. Congratulations to your partner, his works are wonderful.
oof that's tough, honest feedback tbh but I think it's so cool that you took it in and honestly evaluated it, then made a change. Love that kind of awareness--it's really a kindness to yourself, at the end of the day <3 thank you so so much for reading!
This post found me at exactly the right time! I’m currently in undergrad for creative writing and have been struggling to find a consistent writing routine. I too fall into the trap of wanting to “appear” to be a writer. Getting caught up in that aesthetic and what others think of you — especially with so many doubters; “you want to be a WRITER? Okay, but what’s your backup plan?” — is such a valid and real thing. Thank you for sharing this <3 and huge congratulations to your partner, that’s so exciting for them!!
Hi Heidi!! the "what's your back up plan" is so real -- and it's sad! I'm nearing my mid-30s and have seen a lot of creative people follow their backup plan and deprioritize their creative pursuits. Sometimes that's necessary, which I understand. But I think those of us with this drive to write have to at least try to make time for it. We owe it to ourselves! thank you for your comment & support <33
Oh this hurts… back to the novel I go!
Ahh I promise I wasn't trying to hurt you!! lol but I hope you did go back to the novel and I hope it felt satisfying in a deep, true way <3
Like Heather said, it hurts but I needed this truth. Congrats to Peter but to you, for sticking to it and found your way to your finished novel.
I promise it's meant to be more like a gentle, loving nudge <3 thanks so much. wishing you alllll the best in your own writing journey!!
Thank you ❤️
Great article! I want to develop a writing practice but it’s so easy to get caught up in trying to “boost engagement”. There’s always that fear of not being good thrown in there too. I need to keep reminding myself that writers edit and write many drafts before publishing.
oh totally!! I'm with you. Writers edit many of their own drafts, then their agent looks at it, then their editor/publisher looks at it...and there are probably a few beta readers and workshops and craft intensives thrown in there too. It's so helpful to remember that when we compare our first draft to someone else's final project. and yes totally agree about the engagement boosting thing...though I guess it's like, if we aren't careful, we could be amazing at boosting engagement and building a platform for the novel we haven't finished yet, lol. the whole thing could get totally convoluted!