It's not every day an email lands in your inbox called "weird sex stuff", so obviously I had to click it. God, how did a story about a braless throat chakra tuning forks get me all in my feels man. It took me an extra 30 minutes to get dressed yesterday because my Old Navy midi dress had me feeling like a tramp. As we all know, Old Navy is known for their slutty get ups so you can just imagine what the dress was like. Over here popping a tank top underneath it for ~modesty~ so nobody confuses the historic house I was visiting with a brothel. Why are we like this!?
omg I hope it's not weird that this comment made me both laugh and tear up LOL. Not a dress from that sex shop, Old Navy!!! Something about imagining someone else out there in the world examining their midi dress for appropriateness...it makes me feel so tender. at the same time, there's a strange relief in hearing that I'm not the only one who thinks this way--thank you, Gabriella <3 we're just doing our best, you know?? that's why I feel tender--we're just trying so hard to be good. i have a lot of compassion for that. but I want to redefine "good" to be more aligned with personal values and agency. Please DM me if you get the courage to wear the midi dress tank top-less...I think it would look great & I'm rooting for you!!
I love this! also fuck what other people think, more than half dont even like themselves. also free the nips, please! i was born in 1989, and raised catholic and after i got fired from Victoria Secret in 2017, I havent worn a bra since and its been amazing!
Oh man, it's nice to know that even small boobed people feel this way. I'm a 36DD and struggle because no matter what I wear, I feel like my boobs become the focus. I always thought this was just a big boob thing. Its frustrating af, getting dressed is always a struggle because i litteraly don't identify with them...or i guess identify with what society projects onto big tits. Im always jelous when i see people being free about their chest, whatever size...ugh being a woman is wild.
It was nice reading that your partner was able to hold you through that convo <3 so fucking sweet. Most men I've dated feed into the stereotypes, because they also end up being "boob guys" and so it feeds into that loop.
yes!! it's been so helpful to get comments from people with different body types--really goes to show that the same thread of society-induced shame is present for a lot of us, no matter our breast size.
I hate to hear that many men you've dated feed into those stereotypes. So disappointing, gross, and sad. My partner is non-binary (he/they) and I think their gender identity contributes to the perspective they offer me about this kind of thing. I'm grateful, and I hope a partner like this is in your future too bc you deserve to have those uncomfortable feelings held! Wishing you all the best <3
It’s a weird catch because in some ways those men helped me embrace or appreciate them, but in other circumstances I still struggle lol. But I do find more body confidence with queers too <3
The catholic church taught me some beautiful things! .....and then there's the other half it taught me, which I am desperately trying to unlearn, lol. you will LOVE wordhippo!
this made me really happy as a big tittie girlie i feel like it somehow makes all my outfits sexual… and been going on and off with celibacy for the past few months now esp being with someone i want to be seen beneath my body. the side note about the manuscript i relate to so heavily thank you for reminding me i have manic post its to write for revisions as i am having visions hearing things and experiencing life to bring life into my characters and storytelling
ha!! i am the opposite of a big tittie girlie but god I can imagine that it would add a complicated, extra layer of unfairness to this...like you're literally just trying to WEAR CLOTHES on your body and you have to worry about that somehow looking "sexual"...ugh. a uniquely female problem that is so frustrating. i hope you wear and do whatever you want with your body, whatever feels right for you <3 and good luck with the revisions!!
Dude. So relatable wtf. (Also raised catholic) I super appreciate Peter for getting to the bottom of this!! I was watching trashy tv recently, and one of the reality contestants was an OnlyFans model, and she started talking about how much her family means to her. And I was mind blown…her family…loves and accepts her…? Even though she is public about…doing *sexy* things??? Is this a family of perverts?! Wtf is going on here??? I experienced utter confusion about her duality: being a loving (and even more ridiculously, beloved) daughter AND a person who publicly acknowledges their sex drive. I didn’t realize I had weird sex stuff until like 5 years ago…I thought intense shame/disgust at your own horniness was normal/being a good person…? 🤮 anyway, finally getting around to catching back up on your blog and I love your writing so much! So vulnerable, well-written, funny (without trying too hard) and relatable!! 💕
Also, as proof of my dedication to your blog, I had to “verify my email address…AGAIN” to comment, which would have been too high a barrier of entry for 99% of web activities. So…yay! Good content!
lolll omg THANK YOU so much for this!!! Your comment made me laugh...this is absolutely a family of perverts. No but I like really really relate to this. The idea of anyone in my family (honestly even my male friends) (ok wait maybe anyone??) thinking of me as a sexual being with sexual preferences and opinions is like barrrrrffffff omg. Part of why I write posts like this is kinda of exposure therapy, or like, an effort to reclaim. To see what it might feel like to publicly acknowledge that I am a woman who has a body and sometimes thinks about/engages in sex. And the weird thing for me, as a writer--and I wonder if you have any sort of equivalent to this, or maybe you write too?--is that i *keep* writing about sex. Like I've written only one piece that didn't at least touch on sexual desire/situations and that's because it was from the POV of a middle schooler lol. So there is clearly this latent-ish, subconscious-ish desire to attach my name to publicized thoughts about sex and sexuality, while at the same time, it feels like one of my greatest fears. Same with the desire to be seen as attractive but also terrified of being acknowledged as a sexual being. It's very strange. Thank you for this--for relating and for making me feel like less of a freak!
I do write! But not publicly (anymore) and yes, my last protagonist (who definitely didn’t have a life identical to mine in every way 👀) was basically a female sex addict. This reminds me of an observation from Japan, where the nerdy subculture is so shameless about “maid cafes” and the like, when a lot of the culture is so repressed about their deviancy. Like…horniness is liquid in a bag, and when you press down on one side, it just spurts out somewhere else…(don’t ask what liquid lol wtf is this analogy…but you get my point). Anyway, that’s us presenting as nuns but secretly being perverts (aka probably normal people…)
I relate so heavily to this! To this day I feel scandalous and get self conscious when I don’t wear a bra because of my religious upbringing/purity culture and it’s kind of sad, it’s like an internal issue for sure but from an external cultural stigma.
Nursing in public is kind of what made me heal from that honestly because I had to learn to be like “yeah I have nipples what of it, I’m literally feeding a human with my body it’s your problem if you’re sexualizing my body against my consent, not mine” in my own head of course I never said that to anyone haha 😂 because people were generally cool with it and just look away if they can’t handle it. that’s what was helpful for me anyways and sounds like that is what you are learning to do too, to retrain your own mind on it and working in security in yourself! Love this so much thank you for posting, I felt very seen and understood from this. 🙏🏽💖
Love this perspective!! Another empowering moment gifted by motherhood <3 my mom breastfed my younger sisters anytime, anywhere and I'm so grateful I grew up seeing that. Thank you for reading and commenting, Liz!!
as someone who was raised catholic & almost never wears bras anymore, the acceptance Can happen. it's weird & other people's perceptions are still quite bothersome but, there is nothing offensive or shocking about boobs!
right?? It's much easier to understand logically than it is in the body, unfortunately. But I totally believe acceptance can happen and I'm so glad you've found it!
love this, and it reminds me of when i started feeling really self-conscious and bad about going to Home Depot with no underwear on. why is it so weird and fucked up to have a body!
Oh my gosh I loved this!!! I was laughing along to some of it but only because I so get it!! The way we scrutinize our appearance and are so AWARE all the time even when we don’t realize it!
Also thank you for the reminder of word hippo I had totally forgotten about that!! I know what you mean about being so in the manuscript that it consumes you in a way that just feels GOOD. That’s how I feel about mine!
lollll like you kinda have to laugh at it but also--it's awful!! I'm grateful to be in a place of challenging that mindset...I don't want to live this way anymoreeeeee why am i afraid of my own bodyyyyy!!
so exciting to hear that you're in a similar place with your novel!!! It's fun, right? <3
Yessss I love it Romi!! I am perceiving you! And I'm thinking, "wow this stranger is cool for posting on this app in spite of their fear of feeling perceived and judged for merely existing." for real. ty for reading <33
It's not every day an email lands in your inbox called "weird sex stuff", so obviously I had to click it. God, how did a story about a braless throat chakra tuning forks get me all in my feels man. It took me an extra 30 minutes to get dressed yesterday because my Old Navy midi dress had me feeling like a tramp. As we all know, Old Navy is known for their slutty get ups so you can just imagine what the dress was like. Over here popping a tank top underneath it for ~modesty~ so nobody confuses the historic house I was visiting with a brothel. Why are we like this!?
omg I hope it's not weird that this comment made me both laugh and tear up LOL. Not a dress from that sex shop, Old Navy!!! Something about imagining someone else out there in the world examining their midi dress for appropriateness...it makes me feel so tender. at the same time, there's a strange relief in hearing that I'm not the only one who thinks this way--thank you, Gabriella <3 we're just doing our best, you know?? that's why I feel tender--we're just trying so hard to be good. i have a lot of compassion for that. but I want to redefine "good" to be more aligned with personal values and agency. Please DM me if you get the courage to wear the midi dress tank top-less...I think it would look great & I'm rooting for you!!
I love this! also fuck what other people think, more than half dont even like themselves. also free the nips, please! i was born in 1989, and raised catholic and after i got fired from Victoria Secret in 2017, I havent worn a bra since and its been amazing!
HAHA oh what a wonderful story of liberation!!
YOUR MOMENTUM INSPIRES ME also great boobs
This is going to be you soon!!! <3 & tysm I'm coming around to them...you already know your boobs inspire me :')
Oh man, it's nice to know that even small boobed people feel this way. I'm a 36DD and struggle because no matter what I wear, I feel like my boobs become the focus. I always thought this was just a big boob thing. Its frustrating af, getting dressed is always a struggle because i litteraly don't identify with them...or i guess identify with what society projects onto big tits. Im always jelous when i see people being free about their chest, whatever size...ugh being a woman is wild.
It was nice reading that your partner was able to hold you through that convo <3 so fucking sweet. Most men I've dated feed into the stereotypes, because they also end up being "boob guys" and so it feeds into that loop.
Thanks for sharing this
yes!! it's been so helpful to get comments from people with different body types--really goes to show that the same thread of society-induced shame is present for a lot of us, no matter our breast size.
I hate to hear that many men you've dated feed into those stereotypes. So disappointing, gross, and sad. My partner is non-binary (he/they) and I think their gender identity contributes to the perspective they offer me about this kind of thing. I'm grateful, and I hope a partner like this is in your future too bc you deserve to have those uncomfortable feelings held! Wishing you all the best <3
It’s a weird catch because in some ways those men helped me embrace or appreciate them, but in other circumstances I still struggle lol. But I do find more body confidence with queers too <3
I relate to so much of this post. The Catholic church really does a number on you. Looking forward to checking out wordhippo!
The catholic church taught me some beautiful things! .....and then there's the other half it taught me, which I am desperately trying to unlearn, lol. you will LOVE wordhippo!
this made me really happy as a big tittie girlie i feel like it somehow makes all my outfits sexual… and been going on and off with celibacy for the past few months now esp being with someone i want to be seen beneath my body. the side note about the manuscript i relate to so heavily thank you for reminding me i have manic post its to write for revisions as i am having visions hearing things and experiencing life to bring life into my characters and storytelling
ha!! i am the opposite of a big tittie girlie but god I can imagine that it would add a complicated, extra layer of unfairness to this...like you're literally just trying to WEAR CLOTHES on your body and you have to worry about that somehow looking "sexual"...ugh. a uniquely female problem that is so frustrating. i hope you wear and do whatever you want with your body, whatever feels right for you <3 and good luck with the revisions!!
Dude. So relatable wtf. (Also raised catholic) I super appreciate Peter for getting to the bottom of this!! I was watching trashy tv recently, and one of the reality contestants was an OnlyFans model, and she started talking about how much her family means to her. And I was mind blown…her family…loves and accepts her…? Even though she is public about…doing *sexy* things??? Is this a family of perverts?! Wtf is going on here??? I experienced utter confusion about her duality: being a loving (and even more ridiculously, beloved) daughter AND a person who publicly acknowledges their sex drive. I didn’t realize I had weird sex stuff until like 5 years ago…I thought intense shame/disgust at your own horniness was normal/being a good person…? 🤮 anyway, finally getting around to catching back up on your blog and I love your writing so much! So vulnerable, well-written, funny (without trying too hard) and relatable!! 💕
Also, as proof of my dedication to your blog, I had to “verify my email address…AGAIN” to comment, which would have been too high a barrier of entry for 99% of web activities. So…yay! Good content!
lolll omg THANK YOU so much for this!!! Your comment made me laugh...this is absolutely a family of perverts. No but I like really really relate to this. The idea of anyone in my family (honestly even my male friends) (ok wait maybe anyone??) thinking of me as a sexual being with sexual preferences and opinions is like barrrrrffffff omg. Part of why I write posts like this is kinda of exposure therapy, or like, an effort to reclaim. To see what it might feel like to publicly acknowledge that I am a woman who has a body and sometimes thinks about/engages in sex. And the weird thing for me, as a writer--and I wonder if you have any sort of equivalent to this, or maybe you write too?--is that i *keep* writing about sex. Like I've written only one piece that didn't at least touch on sexual desire/situations and that's because it was from the POV of a middle schooler lol. So there is clearly this latent-ish, subconscious-ish desire to attach my name to publicized thoughts about sex and sexuality, while at the same time, it feels like one of my greatest fears. Same with the desire to be seen as attractive but also terrified of being acknowledged as a sexual being. It's very strange. Thank you for this--for relating and for making me feel like less of a freak!
I do write! But not publicly (anymore) and yes, my last protagonist (who definitely didn’t have a life identical to mine in every way 👀) was basically a female sex addict. This reminds me of an observation from Japan, where the nerdy subculture is so shameless about “maid cafes” and the like, when a lot of the culture is so repressed about their deviancy. Like…horniness is liquid in a bag, and when you press down on one side, it just spurts out somewhere else…(don’t ask what liquid lol wtf is this analogy…but you get my point). Anyway, that’s us presenting as nuns but secretly being perverts (aka probably normal people…)
I relate so heavily to this! To this day I feel scandalous and get self conscious when I don’t wear a bra because of my religious upbringing/purity culture and it’s kind of sad, it’s like an internal issue for sure but from an external cultural stigma.
Nursing in public is kind of what made me heal from that honestly because I had to learn to be like “yeah I have nipples what of it, I’m literally feeding a human with my body it’s your problem if you’re sexualizing my body against my consent, not mine” in my own head of course I never said that to anyone haha 😂 because people were generally cool with it and just look away if they can’t handle it. that’s what was helpful for me anyways and sounds like that is what you are learning to do too, to retrain your own mind on it and working in security in yourself! Love this so much thank you for posting, I felt very seen and understood from this. 🙏🏽💖
Love this perspective!! Another empowering moment gifted by motherhood <3 my mom breastfed my younger sisters anytime, anywhere and I'm so grateful I grew up seeing that. Thank you for reading and commenting, Liz!!
as someone who was raised catholic & almost never wears bras anymore, the acceptance Can happen. it's weird & other people's perceptions are still quite bothersome but, there is nothing offensive or shocking about boobs!
right?? It's much easier to understand logically than it is in the body, unfortunately. But I totally believe acceptance can happen and I'm so glad you've found it!
love this, and it reminds me of when i started feeling really self-conscious and bad about going to Home Depot with no underwear on. why is it so weird and fucked up to have a body!
LOLLLLL kinda love that vibe tho
Oh my gosh I loved this!!! I was laughing along to some of it but only because I so get it!! The way we scrutinize our appearance and are so AWARE all the time even when we don’t realize it!
Also thank you for the reminder of word hippo I had totally forgotten about that!! I know what you mean about being so in the manuscript that it consumes you in a way that just feels GOOD. That’s how I feel about mine!
lollll like you kinda have to laugh at it but also--it's awful!! I'm grateful to be in a place of challenging that mindset...I don't want to live this way anymoreeeeee why am i afraid of my own bodyyyyy!!
so exciting to hear that you're in a similar place with your novel!!! It's fun, right? <3
I know it!! But like you said it's so built in! Even things like crossing my arms over my stomach are just second nature. It's messed up!
SO FUN!!!! :D
Awesome, had a nice laugh many times.
Me posting on this app to get over my issue of feeling perceived and judged for merely existing. I relate sm!!
Yessss I love it Romi!! I am perceiving you! And I'm thinking, "wow this stranger is cool for posting on this app in spite of their fear of feeling perceived and judged for merely existing." for real. ty for reading <33
Made my day <3
this was such a good fucking read
i love that tysm ivanna <3
Lindsey, you look 👀 great 👍 without the bra! You shouldn’t worry so much about wearing or not wearing a bra (lol)!
LOL thank you joliene!! burned em all once this post hit 500 likes hahaha
Love this, so good.
thank you so much nicole <33